November 14, 2009

April 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm Leave a comment

I have to tell someone about my fabulous day.  Unfortunately I do not think that anyone else will appreciate the spiritual/growing experience other than myself.  This week has been crazy for me.  I have been studying for a Math 096 final, I had a job interview (today), I had scouts on Wednesday along with Young Womens in Excellence Program, I had two small children in my home Thursday night, and along with all of that I have had to “convince” myself that I could live through today (without crying).  Sometimes staying busy helps me but this week seemed to be too much.  By Thursday night I  was done.  I did not want to go to work Friday, I did not want to take my test that morning, all I wanted was to stay in bed and cry.  I decided to fast.  I started my fast with the intent of knowing whether or not I should take this job if it is offered to me.  (sidenote: I like my job.  Every job has it quirks and there are definitely quirks with this job.  However, I have learned to love the children that I interact with each day.  I want them to succeed and I want to be a part of that.  It is frustrating though when you are trying so hard to help them and they do not want to put forth the effort.)  I also wanted some peace, my anxiety gets the best of me and I worry about everything.  I also wanted a testimony of fasting.  I do not fast often, so maybe this was too much to expect.  Friday morning came and my test went okay.  There were several problems that were wrong because of a negative, or I used the wrong formula or I did not study that section and I simply forgot how to work the problem.   (small minor mistakes that I should have caught while I was checking my work really bother me).  I received an 85%, I left feeling that I could have done so much better.  I headed to work (an hour late) and did not feel that my day was going to get much better.  I had to wear a dress today because of my job interview after work so my choice of clothing (mainly nylons) were not helping my day either.  I went to work and left at 2:40 hoping to make my interview at 2:50.  Between traffic and traffic lights I was 10 minutes late.  I arrived without a resume  because I did not remember to take my thumb drive to work and print my resume.  (I do not have a printer at home, which is another story)  So I am in an interview which I am 10 minutes late for, and I have no resume.  They hand me a list of questions and instead of waiting to be asked each question individually I just start talking and talking.  STUPID!  Sometimes when I am nervous I will talk and talk and talk, which usually ends with my foot in my mouth.  I leave my interview and once I arrive home I am grouchy.  Sometimes when I feel this down I really want to go to the temple. It is my favorite place to be.  As I drove home from my interview the thought comes to me that I should go to the temple and I simply put it off and think ‘I will go tomorrow’.  I was ornery and I could not imagine going to the temple after a day like today.  I do not know if fasting had helped my day, calmed my nerves, or helped with my decision to take the job so by now I am frustrated.  I hurry and clean my house, take my maddie to babysit for Angela, and drive to the temple.  At this point I am still debating wether or not to go.  By the time I was in the parking lot I was still debating.  I went to the temple, and I am so glad that I did.  I love the gospel.  I love learning and I especially love the peace that comes with serving the Lord.  I had a headache before I started the session but once the session started my headache went away.  I had a thought come to me that whatever comes of this job interview it will be okay.  Being in the temple reassured me that by putting this in the Lord’s hands it would be okay either way.  I have faith in my Heavenly Father. I know that he will help guide me if I am doing what he asks of me. I know that if I have the humility to ask in time of need that He hears and answers my prayers (sometimes I forget that He answers them His way and He knows what is best). Once the session ended my love for the gospel had grown so much.  If fasting did not help anything else it did help my love for my Father Heaven and my testimony grow.  I am so blessed that the temple is so close, I do not have to drive 5 hours away nor do I have to save for months just to go once a year.  I have set a goal for myself to attend at least twice a month.  I hope that I can achieve that.

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Entry filed under: My Journal.

A Day of Thanks… November 17, 2008

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